At Vita Nova Maternity Community, growth often begins before a moment ever happens—when a mother starts to think differently about how she’ll respond, guide and show up for her child.
That’s the focus of a parenting class led by Director of Primary Care Services Shellie Gomes. Over six weeks, residents take part in Love and Logic, a course designed to help parents navigate real-life challenges with empathy, structure and confidence.
For many of the mothers at Vita Nova, that confidence is something they’re building in real time.
Most are parenting on their own, without a consistent support system they can rely on. And for some, this is the first time they’ve had the opportunity to step back and think intentionally about how they want to parent—what they want to carry forward and what they want to do differently.
That’s where this work begins.
A different way to respond
Love and Logic centers on a simple idea: parents can be both calm and firm, setting limits while maintaining strong relationships with their children.
“It’s a very supportive and calm parenting approach,” Gomes said. “It helps mothers avoid those power struggles and keep situations from escalating.”
Instead of reacting in the moment, mothers learn how to slow things down.
It often starts with empathy. A child forgets their lunch. There’s frustration, maybe even panic. Instead of jumping in to fix it or lecture, the response begins with something simple: That sounds really hard. That’s a tough way to start your day.
Then comes the shift.
What do you think you’re going to do?
Rather than taking over, the parent hands the problem back, giving the child space to think, decide and take ownership. If needed, the parent can offer help, but only after asking: Do you want to hear what other kids have tried in this situation?
It’s a small change in language, but it creates a very different dynamic. The goal isn’t to control every outcome. It’s to raise kids who can think through problems on their own.
From survival mode to intentional parenting
For many Vita Nova residents, parenting hasn’t always come with the space to pause.
In high-stress situations, decisions are often made quickly, focused on getting through the moment. That’s true for any parent, but especially for those navigating instability, limited resources or a lack of consistent support.
Love and Logic introduces a different rhythm.
One of the key ideas is that not every situation needs an immediate reaction. If a parent feels frustrated, it’s okay to step back and come back to the conversation later, rather than responding in the moment. That alone can change the tone of an entire interaction.
It also removes pressure. Mothers don’t have to have the perfect response right away. They have permission to think, reset and respond with intention.
Over time, that shift helps parenting feel more manageable—and less overwhelming.
Where change starts to show
Each session combines video, discussion and hands-on practice, giving moms the opportunity to connect the material to their own experiences. For some, that connection is immediate.
One resident, who is raising a 10-year-old in addition to her baby, quickly saw how the approach could reduce daily conflict. Mornings had often turned into power struggles—over getting ready, packing a backpack or simply getting out the door.
After learning how to offer structured choices, she tried something different. Instead of asking, Are you going to get ready for school?—a question that can easily turn into a standoff—she reframed it: Are you going to put your shoes on before your coat or after your coat?
The outcome stays the same. The child still gets ready. But the tone shifts. There’s less resistance, less back-and-forth and more ownership in the moment.
“That was something she could try right away,” Gomes said. “And then come back and tell us how it went.”
For others, the impact builds more gradually. Many residents are parenting infants—or will be soon—which means the situations discussed in class may not apply just yet.
“But we’re creating a foundation,” Gomes said. “As their kids get older, my hope is they remember what they learned and come back to it.”
And even before those situations arise, something else begins to change.
“I think you can see them looking more hopeful,” she said. “They’re gaining tools that make parenting feel a little less overwhelming.”
A foundation that lasts
Love and Logic is one of three parenting courses offered at Vita Nova, alongside Circle of Security and Common Sense Parenting—each designed to give residents a range of strategies they can draw from as their children grow.
Together, they’re part of a broader goal: helping mothers build a strong, lasting foundation during their time at Vita Nova.
That foundation isn’t just about parenting techniques. It’s about learning how to pause, respond with empathy and guide a child without getting pulled into every moment of frustration.
Because when a mother begins to approach parenting with intention instead of reaction, the change isn’t limited to one situation. It shows up in how she communicates, how she handles stress and how she builds trust with her child.
And over time, those small shifts lead to something bigger: more confidence, more stability and a different path forward for both mother and child.
The Love and Logic course is one of many ways Vita Nova helps mothers build confidence, stability and a strong foundation for the future. Learn how you can support our mission or get involved today.